AWESOME opportunity!

Did I ever mention that I LOVE my job?! well I may not have mentioned it in the last hour...:)

Today I had an awesome opportunity to work on a birthmom.  Some friends of mine who are adopting (very soon) had me do a pregnancy massage on the birthmom of the baby girl they are anxiously awaiting being born..it was SO neat!  Just an amazing chance to relax both mom, birthmom and baby all at once and I couldn't help but think of Lilian throughout!

I wish so often that I would get the chance to meet Lilian's birth mom one day, particularly if that is something she longs for as she grows up. I imagined what it must feel like to have questions and be able to call up the birthmom and just ask outright.  I wished I could massage away the tension and anxiety of our birthmom like I was blessed to be able to do today for someone else's.  And it was really insightful to get to talk openly with this woman about her decision to place the baby she is carrying for into the homes and arms of this wonderful couple..I admired her decision and strength of character. Her love for this child was evident, as was the love for her other children she had chosen to continue to parent.  She wore tatoos of their names like badges of honor upon her skin, she was proud to be a mother and wanted nothing more than to be a good one to the children she was raising. This made her decision to adopt so profound. It was out of LOVE.

When I think about Lilians' birthmom, I imagine her in a similar decision..knowing how much she already loves the children she has had (I assume she has had any prior) and wishing the situation was different and that she could raise another child and they all be better for it.  I imagine her decision is not based on a belief that she wouldn't be ABLE to parent this baby had the circumstances allowed, but rather it comes from knowing she had limitations that did not make it possible for her to be as good of a parent as her child deserved.  So out of love for this little person growing inside her, she vows to do right by the baby and offer her a fair chance at a full life.  Then she looks at the children she has already and decides out of love that they deserve her undivided attention and she knows without hesitation that she is at full capacity already with the children she is raising and can take on no more.  And adoption is born! 

I am in awe of these women!  They are seeing beyond their feelings and looking into the eyes of their children and doing what is best. I would like to think in that situation I would make the same choice, but it demands a sharp mind and character that I'm not so sure I would posess being put to the test...particularly now that I have children.  I believe for me, selfishness gets in the way and clouds my judgement at even the thought of having to make a choice similar to this.  So because it is a decision I am not sure I could make, even when it's the best for my child...I am just overwhelmed with appreciation for the ones that are stronger than I  imagine I would be and they make it despite how painful initially it might be to do so.  I am thankful for the experience I had today!  I can't wait until I get to tell Lilian that her becoming part of our family was based on this amazing love for her coming from both directions.  And as for my friend and the birthmom I got an opportunity to meet, I send prayers that their baby continues to grow in health and that they continue to nurture their relationship over the years. It's just such a special relationship and I'm so excited for them!  :)