Switching Gears

Sometimes, when you realize there is nothing you can do..you feel compelled to give in to the unavoidable and go with it...and this is such a time.  There has been continuing delays since June in India with the adoption process.  Currently there stands for us to have an additional, unexpected delay of up to 2-3 months. Here is the generalized breakdown for those interested. 

The ACA is the agency in India that up until now is responsible for approving the paperwork of babies who have been relinquished (in other words, their moms have come in and signed them over to an orphanage as opposed to just abandoning them).  The ACA in the past has been the agency that is responsible for approving our referrals. (referrals are in essence "when you find out who your baby is" and the first time we hear about our daughter with her medical info and picture, etc.), however since June the ACA have not been able to renew their license with India's government, so the agency in India who is in charge of adoptions (CARA) has declared that all referrals can now come through another agency called the CWC (they usually deal with abandoned orphans only).  We knew this might be a possibility when the ACA was taking too long to renew their license back in June. What we DIDN'T know was that there were going to be extra delays on top of the expected ones.

As it stands now the couples who have been matched with a child already in May-June with the ACA, are now having to go back and be re-referred through the new organization, the CWC. What that means for them is they cannot go on to get their NOC (no objection certificate) until they are re-approved through this other agency, which looks like it can take up to an additional 2-3 months. What that means for us is that instead of receiving our referral by the end of Sept like we had wished from the beginning, we will have to wait until all the people in front of us who have received referrals back in May and June, go back to the different organization (the CWC) and get approved again before the CWC will issue any NEW referrals for people like us. 

IN Short that means we will be waiting for some time until we get matched with a baby. :(  Not what we were expecting at all.  We are disheartened a bit. In October, everything in India, (including adoption) comes to a halt for the entire month due to holiday, so we will not hear anything new until November at the earliest if we have not heard anything by the end of Sept.  My question is, "What about the babies who were 6 months in June..they are now 8 months old and if it's taking 4-7 months to pick them up ..or longer..how old with our daughter be when we bring her home?"  When we first signed up the estimate was 10 months-14 months old.  With an average baby being 12 months by the time they joined your family. My concern is the attachment process being more difficult the older she becomes before we bring her home, but there are a lot of factors that would affect that, not merely her age.  At this point, it is uncertain how everything will pan out so I am left with hope and prayers for patience.

I'm definitely leaning on God these days to take the burden away of not being able to do anything to change the situation. I'm having to put my own selfish wants of bringing our daughter home NOW aside, and learn to accept (yet again) that God truly is in control and wants the best possible outcome for our family.  It's not been easy to stick with this 'master plan' but it is a lesson that is good for us and reminds us that we are just tools God uses to accomplish His plan. 

The good news is we have more time to gather the money we will need to accomplish the rest of our adoption.  We have applied for two grants over the week and are VERy hopeful that these are one of the avenues that we are supposed to be taking to get the money together that we are lacking.  If not, I'm confident it will come in another way.  Not to mention, in Oct I am needing to have hernia surgery to fix the hernias I developed while I was pregnant with my first biological daughter...which puts me out of work for at least 6 weeks, so we are needing to switch gears a bit.  The truth is, that lately it has appeared to be POURING...(you know the saying, "when it rains, it pours"! ). It is all I can do to concentrate on one thing at a time.  So I am actually very much looking forward to a break at work and some (forced) time off to recover long before we travel to India.  These are all Good things..just not in the way I anticipated things unfolding at this point in the process. :) 

Well I will be happy to continue to update my blog with new information as it becomes available. I pray for those that are further in the process than we are and instead of going forward are having to backtrack. I can't imagine having a picture of your child and then having additional delays that restrict your being able to go and hold them for the first time. I find myself wishing to be beyond this part of the process so often.  I long for the day we bring her back to belong to us and think nothing of the paper chase or lengthy delays that have become second nature at this point.  I look forward to just being a family. 

In the meantime, I will continue to have my friends and family who are super supportive encourage me and I will be ever thankful for what God has blessed us with. My favorite time of year (fall) is right around the corner and despite my up and coming surgery, I vow to enjoy every second of it the best I can!" Enjoy the holiday weekend with your friends and/or family and know that even though everything seems so uncertain now, God has the ability to change anything He wants and it could happen tomorrow..so be prepared! :) 


Happy Labor Day!